Funny Quotes

“And…I think that’s what life is all about, actually, about children and flowers.” ― Audrey Hepburn
“Adam’s response was buried in the sound of the first-story door falling open. Noah slouched in. In a wounded tone, he said, “He threw me out the window!” Ronan’s voice sang out from behind his closed door: “You’re already dead!” ― Maggie Stiefvater, The Dream Thieves
“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”
“Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.” ― P.G. Wodehouse, Very Good, Jeeves!
“My first words, as I was being born […] I looked up at my mother and said, ‘that’s the last time I’m going up one of those.” ― Stephen Fry
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit or There and Back Again
“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).” ― Andy Weir , The Martian
“It’s a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.” ― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bites
“This is so cool,” I said loudly as Dad walked away. “Have you met the tattoo artist? Is he hot?” “He’s a she,” Mom said. “Is she hot? Cause I’m still young, you know. My sexual identity isnt fully formed.” “Your father can’t hear you anymore, Maya.” Mom sighed.” ― Kelley Armstrong, The Gathering